I choose to be seen, heard, accepted, loved and chosen…I commit to do the same.
So, International Women’s Day has been and gone. Lots of articles and videos on great women leaders, carers, adventurers and survivors – which I didn’t read. Of the myriad offerings, I watched one video and read one article on domestic violence. I have a very few observations to share from that which I have either witnessed or experienced:
1. I agree with those who tell us that emotional, verbal, psychological and spiritual abuse, are abuse. Also that one or all of the above are pre-cursors to physical and sexual abuse.
2. I agree with health care professionals, researchers and survivors that violence of any kind, including those above which you may think aren’t really violence, escalates without intervention and doesn’t ever get better by itself. (For Christians reading this, a ‘God moment’ is intervention…by God!)
3. Domestic violence isn’t just from spouses (of whatever genre you have) or parents of children and teens. Extended family, their friends and parents of adults abuse too, that includes emotional and verbal.
4. Both spouses can be abusing each other, including physically – and both are abusers, and both are victims. Look up co-dependancy.
5. Emotional and psychological abuse of woman over man, is abuse.
And finally a few insights from Brene Brown, Daring Greatly – How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead.
When shame becomes a management style, engagement dies.
Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust.
Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.
Vulnerability without boundaries leads to disconnection, distrust and disengagement.
We need to feel trust to be vulnerable and we need to be vulnerable in order to trust.
The result of this mutually respectful vulnerability is increased connection, trust, and engagement.
Thanks for your time.